A P THOMPSON
author of the Jennifer Pettifyr adventures
Pettifyr on the Rocks
"You drive like I make love, Simon. Nobody gets in twice."
Flame-haired twenty-something Jennifer Pettifyr (29) is despatched to Devon to investigate sinister goings-on at an isolated government research centre.
"What do you investigate?" he asked. Frankly, Simon found it difficult to credit the creature in front of him (which began to apply an offensive shade of nail varnish onto an elevated middle finger which seemed very much at home in that position) with the attention span, never mind the social graces, to hold down permanent employment.
​
Jennifer Pettifyr looked up at him and, for the first time since meeting her, Simon was unsettled by the look on her face. She became almost unnaturally still, her emerald green eyes fixing him with a look of such undisguised intelligence that it quite silenced him.
​
"Things that go bump in the night, Simon" she said shortly, "and I'm not talking about your headboard."
The Girl in the Brown Shoes
"This job is important to me, right! I don't want to lose it because you've been dry-humping Lola Markway's leg!"
An encounter with her childhood heroine catapults flame-haired Jennifer Pettifyr into a campaign of hate in the heart of London's West End.
"A publicity stunt?"
​
Jessica Pettifyr put down her glass and looked sharply across at her sister. The redhead took a few moments to compose her thoughts before responding.
"Well, think about it, Jess. It is the most plausible explanation for what happened. Lola's been out of the public eye for a very long time. She and Daniel what's-his-face do need to drum up some interest in this production to get bums on seats, yes? It costs serious money to put on this play." Jennifer took a sip of her drink.​ "And it's not as if they can rely on your masturbating teenage fanbase to keep its nose above water for very long."
Pettifyr Plays The Game
"Cut up his suits? Burn 'em, Kell, he 'ain't worth the scissors."
A floating body in the Thames forces Jennifer Pettifyr to the Norfolk coast.
In the cloisters of her former school, something old and bitter is at work.
"Safer with you" came the response.
Jennifer stared at the girl.
"Safe?! This is what is known in the trade, Pudstow, as a car chase. Very much not safe indeed and you might want to re-think your life choices and get out now!"
"He's not in a car, he's on a motorbike."
"I'm in a car! I'm the one chasing. So, it's a car chase, OK?!"
"We're not chasing him either. We're still in the car park..."
"CHRIST!" Jennifer gave up and gunned the ignition. Pudstow might actually be safer in the car. At least she could keep one eye on her. God knows what was happening at the school. The shooter might not have been working alone. "Put your seatbelt on!" she barked and then rocketed Betsy out through the gates, much to the surprise of the lollipop lady who had been enjoying a cigarette on the kerb outside.
The Case of the Voodoo Monkey
"Twisted, that's the word for him. Twisted in the head."
COMING SOON: An attempted murder in London and a bizarre will reading in Yorkshire thrust a grieving Jennifer Pettifyr into the most macabre investigation of her career.
“David, this is Sally. Sally, meet David. Right, Dave. The thing is, in her professional capacity, young Sally about town here charges nothing less than two hundred and fifty-five English pound notes for just one whole hour of her valuable English time.”
The barman looked Sally Sweeting up and down.
“Don’t tell me... headmistress?”
“Excuse me?” replied the solicitor.
“Caning Tory MPs, that sort of thing. Good money.”
“David,” Jennifer cut in. “My actual point here is that Sally’s time is somewhat expensive and I’m currently paying for it. Put your paw print here and then do one.”
"OK, but leave your card love. The wife's away next week."
A P Thompson is the author of the
Jennifer Pettifyr adventures.
​​
Old-fashioned page-turners for grown-ups.
​​
Warm-hearted, generous of spirit
and loaded with black humour.
​
available on Amazon - links above
​​
The author lives in Essex with one wife
and more soft toys than Hamleys.